A 19-year-old woman from Varanasi was in love with a man and she believed him. Over the next week, a descent into brutality ensued — drugged, traded, and sexually assaulted by twenty-three men. A few were unfamiliar faces. Some recorded her, some laughed. So far, nine individuals have been taken into custody. The tale captured the attention of the media . Then, similar to many rape cases in India, it faded. However, cases such as hers never end. They grow. They enter a collection of women who were brutalized, abandoned, and never looked at again, as society continues to move on until the next rape case in the country arises.
It’s very simple to view this as a Law and Order issue.Ultimately, we desire to perceive these individuals as exceptions, as monsters, not resembling ourselves. However, if you examine carefully, you will notice a pattern. A pattern that connects the Gargi College festival in Delhi where intoxicated men invaded a campus and harassed students openly to the Pollachi incident. Or Pathanamthitta. Or the RG Kar Medical College incident in Kolkata, where a female doctor was sexually assaulted and killed within her place of work. Or the girl next door who remained silent because she was aware that no one would pay attention.
This is not a collection of separate storms, this is the weather. A virtual haze where we inhabit. We are cultivating a generation of boys in a relentless content economy. They sift through sexualized material, clips that obscure the boundary between flirting and coercion, and memes that ridicule consent. Their minds are still cultivating empathy and self-regulation has grown desensitized. Initially, the concept of infringing on someone seems more conceivable, then more humorous, and eventually more feasible to carry out.
Anonymity is an odd substance, the same boy who sings the morning prayer might be sharing revenge porn in a private telegram group at night. There’s no apparent embarrassment and no apparent outcome. Behind a facade, morality transforms into a disguise you remove whenever it’s unhandy.
Film, Society, and the Hereditary Condition
Bollywood might not be directly accountable for violence, yet it undoubtedly influenced the blueprint. For many years, popular Indian films have portrayed stalking as a form of romance, suggesting that a woman’s refusal is merely a challenge rather than a limit. Even today, featuring “progressive” male protagonists, there’s a persistent theme: men pursue, women yield. In households, we educate our boys about consent. Or strength. Or how to control their emotions. We instruct them on how to succeed. And to achieve victory, at times you must take action. That’s what they discover.
However, it’s insufficient. Certainly, we require improved law enforcement. Quick tests. Accountability to the public. However, the police cannot be present in every household, on every campus, within every phone. The true conflict lies upstream. We require thorough sex education – covering not only the biology but also the emotional understanding and ethical considerations. We must instruct on boundaries, not only in theory but through actual practice. Discussions, media analysis, and relationship examples, can be taken into consideration. We require platforms such as Instagram, YouTube, and X to take action. The algorithm now favours the content that provokes outrage, amazement and sexual themes. It’s lucrative, contagious and surely toxic.
Can we please stop saying – NOT ALL MEN
23 men were not a coincidence, they were the mirror of society. So, stop saying not all men, because women don’t know. Women don’t know which one of you is right or wrong. They don’t know how to identify, sometimes it’s the father, cousin, uncle, boyfriend, husband. The Varanasi incident shouldn’t surprise us. It ought to awaken us. Those 23 men didn’t turn into rapists suddenly. They were influenced — by what they observed, what remained unspoken, and what was left unchecked. This no longer concerns them, it concerns us. But unless wider society also changes, this comment made in 2015 to the BBC by one of the defence lawyers in the Nirbhaya case will continue to be proven true: “In our culture, there is no place for a woman.” How much longer will we continue to act as if “not all men” is reassuring when some of them persist in this behavior? As long as we remain unprepared to pose more difficult questions regarding parenting, masculinity, and complicity this cycle will persist. And thus will the stillness.