Isn’t amazing how one person could make you feel like there’s only unicorns and rainbows in life? It is mesmerizing. Maybe that is the reason we just don’t want to let go of that person. There is nothing special with that person but the feelings we associate with them. Everybody loves to be loved. It might seem alright but, a toxic relationship will ruin you from inside and outside.
Here are some signs that you should look out for if you don’t want to end up tangled in your relationship.
One sided efforts
If you are the only one making compromises to keep the boat sailing smoothly, then it is time to reevaluate. Relationships take effort and patience from both the sides. One sided expectations can destroy you mentally. Both partners should be willing to make a step forward to meet in the middle, rather than one making all the sacrifices.
Always complaining about your ways
If your better half constantly points out your flaws and make you feel inferior in any way, then you should be looking for other options. Being together means you lift each other up. They should make you feel empowered and not like you stand second to anybody. They are supposed to clear your doubts and show you the silver lining amidst all your dilemmas.
Puts all the blame on you
During a disagreement or a fight, if they refuse to understand your stand and make you feel like you are lacking in some way every time, move on. They are not healthy for you. If you are left saying sorry and feeling guilty after each and every fight, you loose your confidence. You start to think that you are always making wrong choices. It plants the seed of self doubt in your mind. Everything is not always black and white, there is a grey area sometimes and they need to understand this. Sometimes it is considerate to agree to disagree.
Someone comes above you
You feel like they spend more time with someone else than you. They always come up with ‘work’ as an excuse when you ask to go out but, always ready to crack open a cold one with the boys, then it’s time to have a talk. In a relationship, both the partners have some responsibilities towards each other. Time is essential. Communication gaps make you drift apart. They laugh at every joke of someone else and demean you for your ideas and opinion, then gather your strength and walk out.
You feel “not good enough”
What is the meaning of a relationship, where you feel miserable and unwanted? We choose to spend our time with people, we feel good with. If you don’t feel like a million bucks with them, for them, what are you even doing with them? You are beautiful in your own ways and if anybody, be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, parents, make you feel that you do not deserve to be happy and loved, you have every right to cut them out of your life.
They disrespect your wishes
You want them to cut down on alcohol or stop cussing in front of kids but, they tell you to mind your own business, take care of your business and leave them to handle their business alone. They expect you to understand everything they want but when it comes to deliver, they always fall short, find someone who is willing to reach your frequency.
They question you
If you cannot go out to have a few drinks with your friends without passing their investigation, you are in a abusive relationship. Physical abuse is a forsaken thing, as is mental abuse. You are in a relationship not in asylum or prison that you have to justify each and every action of yours. Personal space is as crucial as spending time together. Do not let anyone make your decisions for yourself.
Many of us stay in a toxic relationship not because we are afraid of loosing that one person, but because we are afraid to end up alone. But let me make one thing clear, it is better to spend time on yourself alone than going through mental and physical abuse just for the sake of company. Once you open your eyes to the world and its amazing miracles, you will find the one made exactly for you. The one that makes you feel like Beyonce.